When things are not OK.

by Jane Guy - Oct 09, 2018

It’s Mental Health Awareness Week and I also just read a post on a Radio station FB page about a list of rules someone has for their boyfriend and it got me to thinking about our view of ourselves.


We’re a nation of go-getters, hard workers, never say when something is bothering us-ers, tough love-ers, don’t cry-ers. You get the picture. But how we do we know what is ok and what is not? What I stand for in a relationship may be totally different to what you will stand for…...casing point in the FB post about what a girlfriend wont ‘allow’ her partner to do. Some of the responses are “wuss”, “good girl”, “psycho”.


A partner doesn’t have the right to tell the other person who they can and can’t talk to, make all the decisions in a relationship, take control of money, have an unequal balance of power.


If we as a nation make these comments openly on a Facebook post how can someone who is experiencing control, abuse or mental ill health step forward for help if their gut tells them something is wrong but a nation tells them it’s ok?


If you’re feeling ‘blue’ or even ‘black’ but someone responds “chin up” or “someone else is in a worse situation than you” does this stop you approaching someone to get the help you so desperately need? What even is depression anyway? What does it look like? How do we teach children to have ‘good mental health’?


On this, another awareness week in the calendar, I’d ask everyone to stop for a moment right at that point when their finger hovers over the FB post, or their mouth opens before they’ve had chance to engage the brain (I know I do it).


If we change the way we’ve always responded to things (anger first emotion) to a new way of thinking (kindness, empathy, listening) we allow those people who are not feeling ok to seek help, to put themselves first, to talk and be heard, to be able to respond “I’m not ok, can you help?”.


If you need help tonight, today, tomorrow, next week - there are services that can help.


Community Mental Health Team
03 441 0010


Jigsaw Central Lakes

0508 440 255


Queenstown Lakes Family Centre

03 441 4331

Advertise with Crux Advertise with Crux